Just because you’re feeling left out doesn’t give you the right to act like a petulant teen. It’s selfish to expect your partner to ditch their other relationships just because you’re feeling insecure.

Let’s get real: when one partner is dating up a storm while the other is flying solo, it can sting. For couples diving into polyamory, this imbalance can become a slippery, treacherous slope if not handled with care.

The “married-single” partner might throw a tantrum, trying to manipulate their way back to monogamy. Nothing quite grinds my gears like desperate attempts that can hurt everyone involved, including children. That’s not what love is about. 

Grow the fuck up.

Here’s the hard truth: our partners aren’t here to cater to our every whim. They’re not our property and shouldn’t be treated as interchangeable. If you think your partner is replaceable, guess what? So are you.

I’ve been on both sides, and trust me, it’s no picnic.

At different points in my relationship with Tim, there were times when my husband John felt lost and unsure about what he wanted. He would swing between wanting an emotional connection or just something physical. Instead of sulking or trying to guilt-trip me, we had real conversations. We explored his feelings and desires. It wasn’t easy, but those conversations were crucial. They helped us grow, both individually and as a couple.

Polyamory demands personal growth and honesty. It’s not just fun and games; it’s a deep dive into your Psyche. It’s necessary to have those difficult and vulnerable conversations BEFORE you leap in. 

Emotions will run high, and you need to support each other through the chaos. 

You signed up for this ride, so buckle up Buttercup, and embrace it!

Let’s get real: when one partner is dating up a storm while the other is flying solo, it can sting. For couples diving into polyamory, this imbalance can become a slippery, treacherous slope if not handled with care.

Just because you’re feeling left out doesn’t give you the right to act like a petulant teen. It’s selfish to expect your partner to ditch their other relationships just because you’re feeling insecure. That kind of behavior can wreck your relationship, and the blame lies squarely with you.

I’m not saying to shove your feelings aside. I’m saying do the work. Ask yourself: What do you need from your partner? Are there insecurities you need to tackle? How can they support you through the ups and downs?

There were times John’s gremlins got loud when I was with Tim, but instead of letting it fester like a bad mood, we talked it out. He figured out what he needed, and together we explored how he could find his own connections. 

Maybe you need to explore new interests or look for connections elsewhere. Remember, it’s a journey. It’s not always easy, especially for those who feel the dating chips are stacked against them. But love can surprise you when you least expect it.

Ask yourself what’s really going on. Is it fairness you’re after? Are you feeling neglected? How would you feel if the roles were reversed? 

There are countless ways to process your feelings that can nurture growth for you, your partner, and your relationship. When we let go of Ego and embrace vulnerability, we open ourselves to a universe of possibilities.

Here’s what’s never okay:

– Ultimatums (if we want to stay together, we have to go back to monogamy).

– Punishing your partner with a bad attitude because you’re struggling.

– Blaming them for thriving while you’re stuck.

– Expecting them to cater to your every whim just because you’re feeling down.

If you’re sulking because your partner is dating and you’re not, don’t be surprised when they push back. Resentment builds, and soon, they might choose their happiness over your tantrums.

So, get it together. Own your feelings, do the work, and let love and connection flourish. Embrace the journey, and watch as it unfolds into something extraordinary!

You never know what brilliance, love, connection, and adventure you might be missing out on because you are choosing to spend your time and energy in such a dark place.

 That kind of behavior can wreck your relationship, and the blame lies squarely with you.

I’m not saying to shove your feelings aside. I’m saying do the work. Ask yourself: What do you need from your partner? Are there insecurities you need to tackle? How can they support you through the ups and downs?

There were times John’s gremlins got loud when I was with Tim, but instead of letting it fester like a bad mood, we talked it out. He figured out what he needed, and together we explored how he could find his own connections. 

Maybe you need to explore new interests or look for connections elsewhere. Remember, it’s a journey. It’s not always easy, especially for those who feel the dating chips are stacked against them. But love can surprise you when you least expect it.

Ask yourself what’s really going on. Is it fairness you’re after? Are you feeling neglected? How would you feel if the roles were reversed? 

There are countless ways to process your feelings that can nurture growth for you, your partner, and your relationship. When we let go of Ego and embrace vulnerability, we open ourselves to a universe of possibilities.

Here’s what’s never okay:

– Ultimatums (if we want to stay together, we have to go back to monogamy).

– Punishing your partner with a bad attitude because you’re struggling.

– Blaming them for thriving while you’re stuck.

– Expecting them to cater to your every whim just because you’re feeling down.

If you’re sulking because your partner is dating and you’re not, don’t be surprised when they push back. Resentment builds, and soon, they might choose their happiness over your tantrums.

So, get it together. Own your feelings, do the work, and let love and connection flourish. Embrace the journey, and watch as it unfolds into something extraordinary!

You never know what brilliance, love, connection, and adventure you might be missing out on because you are choosing to spend your time and energy in such a dark place.